friends - small "f"

Have you heard someone say, "we're just friends"? I think this gives friends a bad rap. To me, friends are an incredibly important part of my life, especially considering the small amount of family I have left. In fact, as I've mentioned in previous posts, some of my friends have really become my family of choice.

Friendship means trust, love, caring. I am not so quick to open myself to people, for whatever reason. When I call someone a friend, it is a very important distinction for me...it means that I trust that person enough to open myself up to them, to let them in. This does not come easily to me; if I call someone a friend, it means that I really trust them. Sometimes this leads to me getting hurt. I guess this has something to do with trusting people until they give me a reason not to trust them. Most of the time though, it is trust from a distance with my guard walls up. Someone recently said that I am afraid of the "v" word, vulnerable. It was said in jest, but I am thinking about how true this might be. But, I believe this is a learned behavior after many losses and not wanting to be hurt (emotionally) anymore. The truth here is that since I started attending Quaker Meeting, I (and others) feel that I am have opened myself up more (a lot) than in the past.

Yes, this post has been edited.....